you read it over and over and over just to torture yourself, you always have. when you told mum, she said you’ve always had a certain sadness. and there was a tightness in your chest that you just got used to, like you exist within “(parentheses, [within brackets], within quotation marks)”. trapped like a trap in a trap. is that a real word or did you make it up? like anyways. and you said it was self explanitorial and then i knew, i knew but i didn’t want you to go, i wanted you to stay and make me feel better about smoking a cigarette all the way down to the butt, like all the things that make you feel good and bad, like all things that matter. family. food. your love(r). art and repetition.